Can I Trade This Job for What’s Behind Door Number 1?

Over the last few months I have officially been a stay-at-home mom. Before that, I was a mom on maternity leave, aka I had money coming in so I could help pay the bills.

Now I can’t.
Although I would not change being a stay-at-home mom for anything, I would be lying if I said I never felt useless.

I’m not complaining about the tasks at hand. I knew what I was getting into by making this choice. I guess, for me anyways, it gets hard when I see that my husband is out working his ass off to pay the bills while I am at home folding his underwear everyday. It’s not that my job is useless, but at the same time he gets Employee of the Month, he gets amazing scorecards, praise for his good work, and (although a laughable amount) he gets a raise every so often when his work keeps improving.

Mom’s don’t get that. In fact, when my son developed a fever within hours and wound up having a small seizure because of it, we rushed him to the hospital and you know what I got? I got to play 20 questions with the Dr’s because you could see in their eyes they did not think I knew what I was doing. I’m a young mom, what do I know afterall.

There’s no praise, no raise (in fact, after a year at home the government takes away our paychecks and then laughs in our face by charging an insane amount for daycare which would make it almost pointless to go back to work full time anyways), no “Mom-of-The-Month.

I love my kids. I love that I am home to see every smile, to kiss every wound, and to rock them asleep at nap time and bedtime. I would not rather be at some office job missing my kids as they are being raised by someone else 8 hours a day. But I am not gonna lie and say it’s easy and that I feel successful. Because I don’t. I don’t feel like my cooking supper or folding laundry is raising the bar!

It’s nice, no it’s GREAT, to be told by your boss that you are doing a fantastic job. It’s a great feeling when you get sent home with a Employee of the Month (never happened to be tho, only my hubby) certificate. Or when your hard work pays off and your company gives you a really nice company watch to show you their appreciation for all the hard work.

So yes, my kids are my greatest achievement in life and yes I love them to death and that will never change! In no way am I saying I hate my job at home. I’m saying I miss getting praised for the hard work I do. (Most) Mom’s really don’t get enough, if any, of it.

~Tanya~

 

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5 Responses to Can I Trade This Job for What’s Behind Door Number 1?

  1. Muriel says:

    Hi Tanya…everytime your sons hug you and kiss you I think you are getting….praised…to those 2 little boys you are everything..as the boys get older you will be Mom of the day/week/month/year and you will receive many cards telling you that.. how many times a day do those little boys tell you they love you?

    I doubt your husband complains about having to work to put a roof over his family heads..he probably can’t wait to get home to you and his boys..the welcome home Hun and Daddy is worth those long days at work..Maybe your husband could give you a score card for the meals you make.It is nice to be complimented about the dinner you make,the house you cleaned etc…

    I am not sure what daycare costs in PEI but I do know it is expensive so by being a stay home Mom you are saving money….and know the boys are being looked after..

    Wish I lived closer to babysit,,,sounds like you and your husband need a date night..

    I enjoyed reading your blog..Being a Mom/Wife is probably the hardest job of all ..I also agree that the Government should give stay home Mom’s $$ until the children are in school..

  2. Thank you Muriel for the kind words.

    I have to maybe correct myself on some things, as when I blog I tend to just get everything out and then edit later.
    My boys are my world and I do consider their affection towards me (every hug, kiss, and laugh) a praise. And my husband doesn’t complain about work and he’s always telling me what a good mom I am and a good wife. And he’ll eat just about anything I make! So I do get praise, for sure!

    I guess what I was trying to imply was that I miss the kind of praise people can get in the workforce. I am a “all or nothing” kind of person so every job I have ever had I’ve excelled at it because I give it everything! And I miss the pat on the back I used to get for that hard work and now I see my husband getting it.

    BUT, and that’s a huge BUT 🙂 , when it boils down to it in the end those pats on the back for office work measure up to nothing because you could quit and no one would really miss ya. Whereas a mother’s love for her children is forever. And I know my husband would give up those luxuries at work if it meant being able to watch his kids grow up. So I am pretty damn lucky!

    As for the Government, I think the way it SHOULD go is that mothers get a small allowance for the first 2-3 years they are home with the kids (if they so choose to, if not then cheaper daycare for sure) and by the age of 3 the kids should be able to (by choice of the mother of course) go into a pre-school until Kindergarten. Call me crazy but I think that would work for everyone!

  3. Muriel says:

    In Quebec I do know the parent pays 7.00$ and the Government pays the rest of the daycare..that was a huge help for my Sister financially..

    • They CAN do it here but you have to be pretty poor. There’s a lot of work involved a long waiting list of people. Most don’t get it unless they lie about their financial situation. So ends up costing about $35 per kid, a day, and you pay even for the days they don’t go in. Plus, it’s hard to get part-time day care as most of the day cares prefer full time kids.
      Quebec is a really helpful province when it comes to stuff like that. Quebecers also get a Provincial income for their kids (every 3 months I think ) where as they don’t down here. I guess every province is different though.

  4. Muriel says:

    Geesh 35.00 per kid would not pay for a person to go out to work unless they have a Govenment job..that is crazy!

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