I Just Want To Laugh, Cry, Have Sex, & Eat Chocolate

Gosh, there are so many neurological problems these days, aren’t there? Stress, depression, anxiety, bi-polar, schizophrenia, ect. All somehow related but at the same time they have their own unique identity.

What’s worse is struggling with them, feeling completely alone even though most of us are dealing with one or the other at some point or another! Most of us are just too shy or scared to come out and say it because, well, that releases a whole new wardrobe of problems like being judged, ridiculed, shamed, being embarrassed, ect. Point being, you already have a problem, why add onto it? Might as well put a smile on your face, update your Facebook status to happy-go-lucky, and paint rainbows. Stupid rainbows. (Just kidding, who hates rainbows?!)

I posted the title of this with the word “Sex” because I knew the majority of you would be like, “What’s this now?” and click on my link to read this post. Yeah, I think the way you think 😉 But the point I am trying to get across is really just that I wanna be free from all these things that hold me back and make me feel trapped, don’t you?

I want to eat chocolate and french fries and pizza and beer without feeling guilty. Without feeling crap about how this will probably make me gain a couple pounds by tomorrow. I want to laugh even when no one else is laughing, because who gives a fuck. See, I said I bad word, I shouldn’t have cause it’s inappropriate…but it goes to show my point, I don’t wanna have to think, “Oh I better not type that cause people are reading this and might get offended.” I mean, stupid is a bad word too but I used it in accordance with rainbows and my guess is no one cared.  Am I right?

I want to watch TV with friends and be able to cry when something sad or touching happens, and I don’t wanna have to think about who may be pointing and laughing at my sorry ass (NOT a bad word…actually an animal 😉 ) for being emotional over a TV show.

I wanna LET GO (let it gooo, let it goooo….okay I’ll stop) and stop being afraid of my emotions and feelings and ultimately being afraid of being called out for who I am. Don’t you? Wouldn’t it be freeing to just not give a damn unless you really actually had to? To stand in line while there are 10 people behind you and take your time placing your order. To cross a cross walk and not have to basically RUN across because the people in their cars are impatiently waiting for you to move your ass. To be an asshole and not worry in that moment what this may do to your reputation. FREE!

I, for one, am tired of always living inside my head. Listening to everything it tells me. “Don’t do that, it’s risky.” “Might not wanna take the plunge, you could fail.” “Oh, you don’t wanna be honest right now, it might cost you.” “Don’t eat that chocolate bar, you’ll gain 250 calories.” “Put your make up on. God forbid you go out looking like you just rolled out of bed.”

You with me? Ever had these little voices talk to you too? Isn’t it incredibly annoying? So annoying, in fact, that if these voices were Facebook friends, you would have deleted them by now!

Some days I just honestly feel like one day I am gonna wake up in a hospital bed at 98 years old and think, “why the hell did I listen every time?” I don’t wanna feel like I haven’t lived enough. Not at 98 and not now. Whether living means jumping out of a plane or simply writing a book or finding FUN things that make me smile and doing them….like having sex 😉 There ya go, I talked about sex, the title wasn’t a total fluke.

To conclude, because I know by now your little voices are probably saying, “You better close this blog and get back to Facebook, you might miss something interesting in the newsfeed…” I just wanna go out on a limb here and be a hypocrite and talk the talk; give advice I am still working on myself and say….GO, LIVE!
Let’s just forget the voices that taunt us and “be 10X bolder” (this is an expression created by Cesar L. Rodriguez, not me). How much bigger a bite could we get out of life if we just let go a little bit and lived a lot more?! Think about it. Or better yet, don’t think….”just do it” (Nike, not me)  😉

let go

Tanya~

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