Recently I was fortunate enough to spend the afternoon with a girl friend. We sat out in the sun and talked about all kinds of stuff women talk about. Coincidentally, we are also both moms.
Before having kids you (considering you are female and reading this) you are considered a “woman”. After having kids you are considered a “mom”. Not just in title or in theory, but in reality.
I’ll be honest, I’m a SAHM (stay at home mom) and most of my friends and social life is thanks to Social Media. Which is great, helps me keep a bit more sane interacting with other adults online. BUT there is nothing like interacting with adults in FACE TIME. Person to person.
I think something ALL (or most) moms can relate to is that we start to feel like we’ve lost ourselves transitioning from “woman” to “mom”. We see old pictures and think, “Who IS that girl?” Not just physically (let’s face it…most of us know what it’s like to have our bodies physically change after having kids) but also emotionally, mentally, & characteristically.
This happened to me.
However, I didn’t actually SEE it or FEEL it happening day to day. I just kinda woke up one day and realized how completely lost I felt as a woman and how found I felt as a mom.
SO, when my girl friend came over the other day and we got to sit outside and talk for hours (even though our kiddo’s were out there with us playing in the grass and finding caterpillars), it made me FEEL like a woman again. Yes, I’m a mom, I always will be. But the interaction was nice.
Which kinda brings me to my point (yes I have a point!). Maybe it’s not that we are lost at all. Maybe we’re still in there. But we become so attached to our kids and feel so guilty not involving them in our day to day activities (let’s face it…every mom tears up a bit the first time she leaves her child with a sitter or at daycare) that this eventually makes us feel lost. We forget who and what we are when our kids are not there, right?
But I think…… …… …….wait, no, let me rephrase……. I KNOW we need time apart from our kids. ALL moms, I don’t care who you are. It’s hard, I know. I hate leaving and seeing them cry cause they aren’t being included. But it’s mandatory for everyone’s sanity. And let’s face it, if you are in a relationship, it’s mandatory for your sex life as well!
I’m not telling you what to do…hell, this is something I have to work on too! But if you do feel like a woman who has lost herself in the process of having kids, take it upon yourself to get out there and DO things without your kids. Find friends to go out and have dinner with. Start doing things you did before. Put make up on, wear white, buy heels, do your hair, go get a manicure, ect ect ….whatever your cup of tea is…whatever made you feel like a woman before.
She IS in there, you just have to let her out.
And then, when all is said and done, go snuggle your kids and appreciate being a mom again. 😉