What If I Don’t Have A Dream?

So I did a thing. Well, I bought a thing. The new Rachel Hollis book, Girl, Stop Apologizing. 

rachelhollisgirlstopapologizing

When I ordered it I was excited! When it arrived in the mail yesterday, I was excited! But when I sat down to read it last night, I was…well I have some thoughts.

First of all, I do LOVE Rachel Hollis.

She reminds me of the version of myself had I remained a Christian.

I love her energy, her mom-vibe, & her writing.

What got me here, on my blog, has nothing to do with her but more to do with the subject and the basis of the book itself. Most books now. Well, almost all books.

I adore personal development. You just have to know that about me. I will never stop reading books on self-love, confidence, and being the best version of me. I’m cheesy but I love love love books like this.

The problem is that so many books now focus on how to be the best version of yourself as a _________________.

How to set big goals.
How to dream big.
How to be a better…
How to attract people on social media.

Basically, books on how to rise to the top. Books on how to make all your dreams come true while becoming a picture perfect version of yourself.

“So, what’s the problem?” you ask.

Well, what if you don’t have a dream? What if you still have no idea what it is you love to do or what you want to do? What if you simply are in a phase of your life where you just wanna be a better person without the big dreams, without the big goals, and without the stardom?

Or, WHAT IF *gasp* you are simply content without all of that stuff?

I’m not saying we shouldn’t want more. Life is huge and we should always stay curious and ambitious.

It just seems like there is so much out there about being a ‘Boss Babe’ but where are the books applauding women who not only choose but are happy living a simple life? Where are the books that say, “Don’t have a dream? That’s okay!” And why aren’t more women who are waitresses, nurses, desk clerks, stay at home moms, ect posting their “Boss Babe” selfies online?

When I was a little girl, my first recollection of a ‘dream’ was that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. I loved kids!

Another dream was that I wanted to be a singer. Unfortunately I was not gifted with a golden set of vocal chords and no matter how much I tried to sound like Britney Spears (I was young, leave me alone), it wasn’t happening.

I’ve signed up with a couple different work at home jobs as well thinking THAT was the dream. That I had finally found my purpose. And yet I sit here and write this, with a coffee next to me, after baking cookies with my son, and admit that I still don’t really know what the dream is.

I just know that I’m happy where my life is at in this current moment. I love being a stay at home mom, despite the amount of effort it sometimes requires. Despite hearing people’s, “Oh, just a stay at home mom? That’s…cool.

I’ll admit that I have cried a few tears over the last decade feeling like I wasn’t good enough yet. Like being a mom wasn’t enough. Like I had to be something bigger to be recognized, to have a fulfilled sense of purpose.

And so when I opened Rachel’s book last night I felt a sense of dread. A sense of, ‘ugh, not another ‘DREAM BIG’ book.’

Like I said, I love her and I know there is a BIG place for this subject right now because so many people, especially women, are working from home and making their marks. And that’s okay. Nothing wrong with it. I’ve done it and a lot of GOOD has come out of it.

I guess I am just at a place in my life where I need a book that praises living a simple life while continuing to grow & challenge myself as a person.

But until I find that book, I am going to leave you with this:

Wherever you are at in life, no matter how old or how young you are, just know that you can be happy even without a big dream. Happiness is not always found in success and success is not always defined the same by each person.

Your happy place is your happy place, wherever that looks like for you.

And maybe you discover your big dream someday or maybe you don’t. The only thing that matters is that you are happy and that you never lose your sense of curiosity.

Stay simple or dream big, just remember it’s your life, not theirs.

Tanya

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