Figuring Out Who I Am

I have a question? Are you a fan of the TV Show, This Is Us?


If not, you should be. 😛

In this week’s episode Kevin is talking to his niece, Tess, and they’re talking about the anxiety and fears that are often attached when you’re trying to figure out who you are as a person.

And then Kevin says, and this is what got me, “I don’t think we figure out exactly who we are all at once. I think it happens over a long period of time, like piece by piece.”

He continued: “Take me for instance: A couple years ago, I get close with your dad and I find a piece of myself. And then I meet your aunt and I find another piece of myself. I think that’s sorta how it works, you know? I think we go through this life slowly but surely, just collecting these little pieces of ourselves that we can’t really live without until eventually we have enough of them we feel whole.”

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a teacher. I loved kids! I begged to babysit every opportunity I had. And, get this, I wanted 26 kids of my own. (Imagine? My poor uterus!)

When I got older I wanted to sing. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard me sing but, in the brutally honest words of something Simon Cowell once said to a contestant, “Does God have a return policy? If He gave me that voice I’d give it back.

When I was finally old enough to work though, guess where I got my foot in the door? Restaurant work!

When I was born, I was immediately born into a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
When I was a pre-teenager my parents left the Witnesses and became Baptists (Christians). I spent all of my teen years as a Christian until this is what defined me.

As an early adult I began questioning what I believed in, who I was, what I wanted to do. My answer, after a lot of soul searching, was LOVE. That’s what was real to me. That I love others, love the Earth (my home), and love myself.

However, despite this awakening, I have still spent so many years now trying to figure it out. What my purpose is, what my calling is, what sets my soul on fire.

When I watched this episode of This Is Us and I heard what Kevin said, it made sense in such a real way!

Because maybe our lives are not supposed to be figured out. At least not all at once. Maybe the answers we’re looking for lie in each moment, in every risk we take, every friend we meet, & every memory we make.

There are no rules. You don’t have to have ONE job your whole life. You don’t have to like ONE flavor of ice cream. You don’t have to date the same person FOREVER if you’re unhappy. You don’t have to have all the answers in a fishbowl all at once.

And even if you do, even if you think you have figured out your life, you have a grand plan, you know what you love and who you are….the Universe can throw a stick in your path that will derail all of that and you’re back to square one.

So, moral is, just enjoy the ride. Enjoy the pieces. Enjoy that cup of coffee, that hug your child just gave you, the book you’re reading, your family & your friends.

Because at the end of the day, all these little things are telling your story and helping you figure out who you are and where you’re supposed to be.



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